I may not have the exact same story as you, but I feel like I can relate, A LOT. School always came super easy to me too, so I felt like I never really worked for anything. Didn’t really try hard to get my teaching degree, my current (amazing) job fell into my lap, and now that I’m 3 years in and still feeling like a first year teacher with the classroom management problems I still have (for other reasons), Mr Grinch He’s a mean one christmas I feel like this is not where I’m supposed to be. I don’t often take time to reflect on the impact I might be having or the things I do that are good. I’ve been in such a negative funk lately, and I feel like it’s killing me (and might kill my teaching career yet).
Mr Grinch He’s a mean one christmas items
I never knew there was a term for it. I’ve felt this nearly my entire life. Even outside of school I was praised for being friendly and positive. Something I would never say about myself. Not necessarily because it’s untrue but it’s not true enough to claim. Throughout grade school and high school learning came easy to me. I felt like I never did anything great despite being above average and being in all the gifted classes. Mr Grinch He’s a mean one christmas Anytime attention was brought to my successes I would down play it. This continued and got worse through college. I graduated from a great university with a BA and when asked about my life accomplishments it always slips my mind it seems. I always bring up how it’s only a psych major I can’t do anything with it anyways.
Even with work, just recently I got a low score on a quality audit. Even though I showed I was scored incorrectly I still had a mini breakdown to the point my eyes swelled up with tears out of fear of being put on a PIP, being fired, or not getting a good enough merit pay increase. Then I talked to my manager who pretty much said all of my fears were unfounded, they’re correcting the score, and even she was on the verge of tears! Knowing what it is now I hope it can be helpful. God knows I’ve looked down on my accomplishments enough.