I think we also need to recognise there are things we just expect our partners to do without even thinking about it either, in our house that might be DIY, technology stuff, Control guns not women shirt most hard labour jobs. We accepted these positions and I think if we want a more egalitarian relationship we need to discuss redrawing the responsibilities so we both feel the mental workload is more fair.
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My ex husband did nothing, as he was disabled he couldn’t even earn money to support his family. I worked 6 days a week, cleaned the house, raised the children, nursed him, paid the bills, sorted the car, then was told to ‘get a proper job!’ & I didn’t spend enough time with him! Grrrr. Hence why he is an ex. Lol. I do less now as a single mum than I did married. It’s not only moms that run everything. Control guns not women shirt There are a lot of dads that run the house and children to make sure everything runs smoothly. More men are in this role than ever but no one talks about that as it is still only a “mom” thing. The world is changing and a lot of old stereotypical roles are changing…society is slow to notice. That’s not what this article is about though. It’s about mental load, not being a stay at home parent.
I’m 100% confident that my husband could stay at home and things would run smoothly. But I guarantee I would still carry the mental load. My husband is a stay at home dad and he carries a huge amount of the workload. I carry a different kind of mental workload but for us it’s about coming together and ensuring we know where each other’s soul is at. I stayed home Once for a bit and seriously had trouble handling it without losing my mind so hats off to my man who does it because I struggled with it. Parenting is huge no matter where, when or who and working your way through the maze of it is tough and complex. Ideally I’m sure everyone would like a more tag team effort in it, but I’m not sure that owning the mental workload is the only side of it.